ignore this
Hi, this took a long time to come up with, but I don't think anyone found the door here yet.
Welcome to my garden, this garden is self grown and self sustained, the more it grows the more it grows.
Fears, anxieties, all of it is planted here, the bigger they grow in me... You get the point
On me they're not permanent, eventually shrinking down.
Here their peak is saved, if they ever grow past that, they'll grow more here.
Feel free to stay here for as long as you'd like, though I'm not sure if that would even be enjoyable for anyone.
This fern just grows everywhere, every day, every morning, it holds me back from doing anything from big to small.
My mom points its existence every chance there is, like most other plants on most other people, so many things I didn't finish, projects too big for my grasping, maybe not, but from within the leaves nothing feels doable, neither worth the energy.
I've cut it down a little this past week though just leaves don't do much to the roots but you gotta start somewhere.
This bush is dry, its branches are hard, hard to push through, hard to break, they bruise my fragile self whenever I try standing against it.
So many people share this one, and they've broken it, they break it every day, so it doesn't grow, but I'm not strong enough to do so, I don't have the skill to break it, trim it. I tell myself it's from lack of tools but deep inside this thing grows and impales my heart and I know that I can't, I know that no matter what I do it'll always be there, stopping me from destroying it, no matter how much I want to.
I tried taking sticks from it to make sounds, but all it did was hurt my hands, all I made was noise, gross noise that makes me tired, that sucks my life out of me.
No energy to fight.
This flower is bitter, you're not supposed to eat it but I can't help but feel like I've swallowed its poisonous petals.
For a long long time this one has been growing within me. Its roots twined with my bones holding tight onto me, pulling against any move I try to make. Sometimes it tricks me, or rather it lowers my walls, my standards for what's acceptable, it colores my vision so pain and love don't look that different. So I just subject myself to things that make me angry thinking about.
Some days its lighter, but others it digs a grave for me and holds me there until the backs of my eyes hurt from wanting to cry but simply not knowing how to.
Of all plants this one is one of the most common, specially in a place like this, so much so it was built from these petals. So many souls have this and just get by, they just live their lives but I let it ruin mine, I let it ruin my days with frustrating thoughts and my nights with hopeless dreams as I strangle my covers and pillow wishing I could at least soak them with tears and then my mornings with the empty endless horizon.
If anything haunts my future is this one, we all are creatures that die alone and my body twitches and shivers thinking about it, if it stays and grows through my life it might even be the reason it ends.
Its poison can be deadly, even a slight touch of its flower can make your skin brittle and start peeling off of you. I would call it strong, if I wasn't unsure wether that's true or I am the weak one, the one with paper skin that crumbles over a slight embarrasement.
It hurts, of all of these this one hurts more than anything.
This long tall grass is often mistaken by seaweed but in fact it is not.
Its tall stature and almost nonexistant weight makes it so any small fluctuation in the air bend its shape. It stays still in its planted place, slowly moving side to side, always at the corner even when you don't notice it.
You never notice it is there until it is everywhere. In your pots, in your plants, in your soil, your arms and chairs, in your bed. It just stares at you with its lack of eyes and lack of sense. No real being, no real nothing.
Just by being near you its aura can be felt. It comes slow, whenever it has an opportunity. A bad reaction here, a worse emotion there, slowly it beings surrounding you. You might look at your hands for a moment and leave a gap in your thoughts, a thin gap but just thin enough for it to slide in. And then it grows.
You can't really feel its presence, or you can, as it is marked by the lack of feelings. You feel less hungry, less happy, curious, motivated. One by one it consumes your thoughts, your ideas and your wills slowly becoming thin, as your brain becomes thin. Your arms the more and more tired, your legs don't even want to walk anymore. It strips you of anything it can, specially your will to fight back. Sooner or later it's just it, you look around you and all you see is the still motion covering your entire field of vision.
It's only you and the nothingness.
So it might as well just be nothing.
A flower with rubbery like leaves and petals.
Known as the echo flower, it has its name because of a strange abilty it has, it's able to copy sounds from it surroundings and echo them. Although they're merely a relay of information that is already around them, many people consider it to bring bad luck and bad spirits to those that hear it.
Whenever near one you may hear it repeat sounds of your room coming from it, but its peculiarity is when imitating voices. Its ability to listen and repeat words and sentences is where its infamy comes from, the sound that comes from within its flower's chaimbers come audible exactly the same, but within it is a different frequency. It's unknown what causes it but its effects on the human mind vary, it can be anything from anger or irritation to sadness or dizzyness, most commonly however it's been reccorded that it causes a "deep and viceral hatred for the people around you" as well as "intense chest pains and burning in the skin".
It's thought that it feeds on human energy like an emmotional-synthesis, getting stronger the longer its echos are heard and listened to. If ever ingested it may likely cause bleeding pitch black liquid from eyes and mouth that will eventually reach the lungs and drawn the victim in minutes.
There is nothing of good to be extracted from it and only pain to bring to those who cultivate it.
I have one of those in my windowsill
always have
the anger it brings me is immense and I have no fucking idea how to get rid of it, by now its roots and flowers are within the walls of my room.
shouting at me everything I don't want to hear, whenever I least want to hear it
I wish so much I didn't hate other's happines with all my soul at this moment
why do I feel so fucking powerless
I do not deserve a single grain.
WHY IS MY BODY LIKE THIS???? WHY AM I HARDCODED TO SUFFER THIS FUCKING MUCH??? FOR NO FUCKING REASON IT HURTS, IT HURTS LIKE FUCKING HELL AND IT'S THE PETTIEST THING IMAGINABLE
MY FUCKING GOD HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO ENDURE THIS TORTURE MY BRAIN DOES TO ME