The not only one happening of the moment. Something odd that rubbed my brain the wrong way, "that's a contradiction" it thought "that's impossible... unless it means something very very absurd, almost breaking convensional logic.. which is funny, but no doubt this isn't what they mean, but it is the logical extension to what they said" it's what my brain thought... Myself pondered, tried even expressing this thought. However, being familiar with scenes like these, where explaining myself is much more intertwined with improv, prolonged far more than nescessary and results in a dullness of bother and awkardness, leaving myself with that cold burning feeling in my stomach, the frustration of not being understood, no one capable of understand, or rather sometimes just unwilling...
But then she said. She said "But doesn't the room have a door?" or something amongst those lines that I can't recall exactly right now but at that very moment, once more, I froze, not in shock or anger or fear, but just, a slight surprise, followed by a bunch of things, as she went on to say the exact words that were bouncing around my brain for the past few seconds. The teacher went on to say the words I thought he would say, prompting her to propose the unconvensional logic resulting from his statement, followed by a "no" followed by a lacking explanation, which could inquire further questions, but at that point she chose not to, she's too smart to do it. The feeling of hearing those words, feeling like there's a soul, a brain that is a simillar mirror of mine, that chose to say the words I thoguht of but decided not to, makes me believe that the thoughts of her brain would be the same as mine, simillar enough to mine that she could understand, she would be willing to understand. And for a moment, a singular 0 dimentional dot of time, I felt again like I could walk up to her, talk to her, inquire on her brain workings masked by maybe not so trivial questions, get an answer, an understandable answer, a relatable answer. I feel hope of understanding for an instance of time.
And then I remember. She has no need for me, no want for me. The feeling of being alive, of understanding, she has none for me, the hope I see in her is nothing but imagination, and will never leave that. She is not for me, and I am powerless to change that.

If you are reading I hope you understand, I hope you understand these are my thoughts, my experience, often right after some moments of sorrow, anger, and often sadness, a deep depressive loneliness that tears me appart almost daily.

In a turn of emmotion, if you are who I think you might be, and I am talking to you the reader, know that, you're my hope, my hope of understanding. I alarm you not to see this as a burden, as a request, as a service, for those things are what cause relations to be disasturous, I know it myself too well, just know that, you, one who accepted advice on hyper text markup lenguage, make me happy, you are sparkles in my life, and I hope I am for you too, I hope in the future I can comment all those lines and smile while tears flow out my eyes for the first time in a long long while, knowing I was wrong, knowing it was worth it. I hope you and I work well for each other. I wish us luck.