That was my uncle's finger, he chopped it off over 10 years ago, but it's still around.

There's some of me in that finger, but I don't see it.

So many people around me have me in them, have they in me, but I don't feel like that's true

they're familiar to me, and that's what family is, right?

When people talk about their family, they show me a picture

When my family interact with me, it's the same picture

but it's not the picture I see

I can barely talk to them, I don't know these people, I'm not comfortable around them

Family gatherings, birthday parties, I'm at a corner

I stay close to my teen cousin because it's the closest thing to normal to me

But most of them are not normal to me

They insult me so much without even knowing it

Sometimes I hate that I associate with this people

sometimes I hate myself for dissociating from my family

I've been told that's normal, but I've never seen it like this