I was a kid, I was a small kid at the time. No idea what I was doing, I mean look at this.

I'm not beating myself over this btw, I have no problem with this existing, it's still up there for that reason.

I just, I don't know, it feels weird to have that there sometimes, actually all of the time, whenever I think about what's in there this thing is what makes me uncomfortable, the kind that I just want to skip past, look away, pretend doesn't exist.

But who I am, what I claim to be is supposed to be against that, I shouldn't feel like that, I tell myself that I shouldn't, no one should be judged for not being up to your tastes, that's illogical, it's immoral... But why do I feel like this?

Why do I have so many contradictory feelings?

I hate being like this, I know this is wrong, all of the reasons why it's wrong are clear and obvious to my mind

yet here I am, being uncomfortable, not conforming to what's supposed to be my own standards.